A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

The doctor told a man he had aids. He told his friends he had AIDS so his friends wouldn't sleep with his wife after he died.

When life gives you lemons, you throw them at your friends. If they throw them back, duck

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

Why does Stuart go to Zu Bar? Because he deals cocaine to his fellow raving companions

What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

-Why did the chicken cross the road? '' I dont know '' -Because it would cross the road and over to you. -Knock knock? '' Who's there?'' - CHICKEN!!!!!!!

What's better than winning the Special Olympics? ...Not being retarted.

A man walks into a bar and is shot in the face

How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

what did the little boy get for christmas? A BIKE!

What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

It's gone. It's all gone. There's nothing left.

What is worse than Jerry Sanduski? Nothing

Knock knock Who's there Orange and Banana Orange and Banana who? ... The man opened the door and saw a bowl of oranges and bananas.

What is worse than being eaten alive by a shark? Being force fed live goat intestines while Kevin Spacey rapes your father.

Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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