Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

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What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Hello Justin, please come in.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Hi i love black men so much and i am a jewish faggot bye

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops