Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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What's the best part of twenty one year old's? Their bodies have matured enough that the U.S. government deems it safe for them to consume alcoholic beverages with proper I.D.

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice, and Arianna Grande walk into a bar. They were making a movie.

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Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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A tiger walks into bar. He orders a drink and leaves. The tiger's name was Tony the tiger," It was just a man wearing a costume for the cereal company.

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whats worse than a bee sting, two bee stings, whats worse than two bee stings, the holocaust, whats worse than the holocaust, tree bee stings...

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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how many jews fit in an oven? none, its illegal to put a person in an oven....

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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what do women and men have in common? nothing, women are inferior

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Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

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Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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North Korea is red. Amerika is blue. But they both split blood. All over you

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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