What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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If you put two black men in an empty room, what will they do? They will most likely try to figure out why they have been put in such a confusing scenario. Then one of the black men will suggest the possibility that maybe they are being used as a subject of a joke. The other black man agrees then they both hang themselves since they have no other purpose in life.

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What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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It got hit by a rocket.

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Why didn't the cab driver pick up the black man? Because the cab driver already had a passenger and it would be unprofessional to pick up another person.

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I know a black person. His name is Mikey.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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A man in a wheelchair walks into a bar... ...wait a second.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops