Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

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Why was the man killed before he could finish his anti joke? Because he

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How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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What's worst then not getting anything on Christmas? Rape, Murder, Dying.

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Four guys walk into a bar. They buy their drinks and stay for a couple of hours. After they are done they get a cab ride home. It was a lovely night.

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Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

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Knock Knock! we have a door bell ...ding dong. its broken.

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Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

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What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

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how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

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Oh...okay, good.

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A Homosexual, a Jew and a Black walk into a bar. They do not speak make eye contact or acknowledge each other in any way.

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What do iPhones and Nokias have in common The nokia is indestructible. I lied about the iPhone

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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Jews who wear penny loafers...

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Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

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Lacrosse

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What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

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haw are alligators and turtles simaler? They are both reptiles and carnavores and their speaces goes all the way back to the dinosoar ages

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What's worse then a worm in your apple You took a bite outta that apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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