Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A tiger walks into bar. He orders a drink and leaves. The tiger's name was Tony the tiger," It was just a man wearing a costume for the cereal company.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

North Korea is red. Amerika is blue. But they both split blood. All over you

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats worse than a bee sting, two bee stings, whats worse than two bee stings, the holocaust, whats worse than the holocaust, tree bee stings...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how many jews fit in an oven? none, its illegal to put a person in an oven....

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do women and men have in common? nothing, women are inferior

thumb_up thumb_down +8

knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice, and Arianna Grande walk into a bar. They were making a movie.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the best part of twenty one year old's? Their bodies have matured enough that the U.S. government deems it safe for them to consume alcoholic beverages with proper I.D.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops