What did john say to bob Hey bob

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What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

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Max Head fingered himself, HAH

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

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what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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what time does the japanese guy go to the dentist? well his appointment was for 11:30, so he might show up approximately 5 minutes prior to the appointment time, just to make sure everything goes steadily as planned

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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A Hispanic, a Caucasian, and an African American walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

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So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

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Q: What's very loud, has 60 wheels, and is covered in snow? A: A massive car pile up in January that was caused by a women being distracted while Texting. 7 people were killed.

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A redhead walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. He says yes.

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

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Do I ever ask yo a question that I havn't given you the answer to Mr Hearty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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