A man walks into a bar and pulls out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist, which is really just his member with a smiley face drawn on it. Somebody calls the police muttering, "What is this world coming to?"

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I am quite mature.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding Osama Bin Ladan in your refrigerator.

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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Your mother just died.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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How many republicans does it take to raise the debt ceiling? Technically, none, as the president has the right to do this based on the 14th amendment.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would think at least one of them would've seen it.

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Friend's are like penguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

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A gay man,a black woman,a seven year old child,a liberal,an atheist and an asian walk into a building. A hijacked plane flies into the tower they were in and kills them all on a cold September morning.

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Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Whoop-dee-do.

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He is outside, running for it, Erron, seriously who is We? I thought you where an author.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe on cement being a Jew during the holcaust

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Sarah Palin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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