How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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A gay man,a black woman,a seven year old child,a liberal,an atheist and an asian walk into a building. A hijacked plane flies into the tower they were in and kills them all on a cold September morning.

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Get 100,000 Twitter Followers for $49.99 at Ladsta.com today!

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I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a trash can? -Finding a dead baby in 5 trash cans

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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Sarah Palin.

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What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding Osama Bin Ladan in your refrigerator.

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Your mother just died.

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe on cement being a Jew during the holcaust

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Whoop-dee-do.

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Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

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What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

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I am quite mature.

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Where do you guys find all these jokes? Your mom's Vagina

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He is outside, running for it, Erron, seriously who is We? I thought you where an author.

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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why was the man afraid of the tree? Because it ate his mother!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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