why did the boy fall of his bike He got shot in the face

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and about not being funny.

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What happened when the Arabic man went through airport security? He was racially profiled and stopped, delaying not only him but the line of people behind him.

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Sarah Palin's political campaign

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How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

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i did a 360 noscope, then i jizzed. from dylan

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A bartender walks into a bar, and starts his shift.

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In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

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What is the cost of an abortion? 1 life

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Where does a jew with ADD go ? A concentration camp

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How do the Chinese name their children? They decide on a name that both parents can agree upon, and they write that on the certificate of birth.

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RUN

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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Why did the one friend hate the other friend? Because the one friend didnt do a map for social studies he should've done and skipped school for that class and when he came back, the other friend told the social studies teacher he was here and he had to turn in an unfinished poster and now he is a crybaby bitch about it.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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A man walks into a bar. He then walks out of the bar a while after. He then goes home and goes to bed. And then he goes to sleep. And then in an odd time travel paradox,a T-Rex arrives from the past and kills him and his entire family.

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My brother found a worm in his apple. I dared him to eat it, so he did. When he tried to swallow, the mashed up worm congealed in his throat, killing him. Later, I found out that the worm had poisonous rectum fluids. I was given the Nobel Peace prize.

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Q:What is usually pink, brown or black, usually big and comes out smaller, which goes in and out of your mothers mouth? A: Could be lots of things really... Moral: But we all know what you imagined you sick bastard!

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Q: What did the donkey say to the man? A: "Hello there, sir." it was later discovered the man was tripping on the hallucinogen LSD. Later on the man plummeted to his death after being convinced that he was a pterodactyl, and jumping off of a cliff.

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Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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