Life is like a box of chocolates. Except it's not usually a rectangular or love heart shaped... nor does it contain small expensive assorted candy... life may not also contain nuts... or be devoured by our fellow human... Life is not like a box of chocolates

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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Women's Professional _________

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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Why did a black man put his hands on a white man? They were hugging.

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What do watermelons taste like? Sand.

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Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

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Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was at a crosswalk and the walk light was on.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket.

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what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

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is this the krusty krab? no, this is patrick.

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How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

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Why is Brodie Invited to Orlando? To make the beds

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SEX

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Hey babe, do you like water, because I have water.

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Why did the Europeans colonise Africa Because they couldn't do it themselves

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops