Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

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How many people does it take to drive a car? 1 person

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Set up. Set up who? Punch line!

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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justin beiber sucks

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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How many tacos does it take to feed an angry person? You better tacover it!

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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A blonde keeps walking down her driveway to her mailbox.Finally, her neighbor asks, "Why?" The blonde replies, "The computer says I've got mail."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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