Three blondes were stuck on an island, one of them wished for a motorboat, later on they all died of starvation

thumb_up thumb_down +22

-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what happened to the christian when he died? nothing because god isnt real.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what do you want to drink" the guy says "a blue moon"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call an Iraqi man steering the plane? a pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call a mothers mothers father's brother's son's uncle's sister's brother's aunt's father's stepbrother's granddaughter's mom? I dont know... im asking you, why are you reading the answers then?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

One man's junk is another man's pleasure.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

France never surrender.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the difference between a dog and a North Korean tank. When I see a dog I think wow, what a cute dog. When I see a North Korean tank I run away screaming, as do many others, and I hope the marines come and save us.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops