A Homosexual, a Jew and a Black walk into a bar. They do not speak make eye contact or acknowledge each other in any way.

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What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple You took a bite outta that apple.

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What's gay and gay? Joe

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What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

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Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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Cnorris can carry very heavy objects

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Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

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where do you find a dog with no brain? in its grave.

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What do you get if you cross a mexican with a pineapple? Nothing, they are two different physical forms thus incapable of becoming a new object.

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how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

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Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

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What is worse then failing a test? Cancer

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a picnic table? The average picnic table can support a family of four, while a Mexican person, depending on his or her career, can support families that include over four people.

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

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Why didn't the chicken cross tithe road Because it was a motorway

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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