What is brown and smells like bacon? Bacon

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A women gets on a bus, the bus driver says 'that is the ugliest baby i have ever seen!' the women pays for her ticket and sits on one of the seats while the bus pulls off.

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What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

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haw are alligators and turtles simaler? They are both reptiles and carnavores and their speaces goes all the way back to the dinosoar ages

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A whole family go to a water park. They have a great day.

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3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

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Why did Tina's parents stop calling her? Because they died

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What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

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What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh

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How did the man rob the bank? With a gun

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Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

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Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Cheese at the grocery store that you have not purchased yet

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

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In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

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Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

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What do you get if you cross a mexican with a pineapple? Nothing, they are two different physical forms thus incapable of becoming a new object.

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Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to see him rocking and rolling on it.:)

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Why did the Latino feel uncomfortable during anal, vaginal, and oral sex simultaneously? Because she was being raped by three men.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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