Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

Women's rights

A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

The awkward when you said moment in your head.

How do you get a black person out of a tree? You grab a ladder and help them down.

Dallas Cowboys

How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

Whats the difference between two flies? Nothing, they're both flies.

Yo Mama's so fat, she weighs more than an electron.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

why is your mom crying? i don't know but you should be nice and offer your support.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

Two men walk into a bar. Seeing as the first man could have suffered a concussion, and been seriously hurt, The second man ducks to avoid also being hit by the bar.

How many dead babies can u fit in a bath tub 17

Yo momma is so fat, she has to wear a large shirt

I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

ASSCHEEKS

what rhymes with sloth? rape

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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