What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a blind-deaf-mute.

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White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

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Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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I know a black person. His name is Mikey.

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Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

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It got hit by a rocket.

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Why didn't the cab driver pick up the black man? Because the cab driver already had a passenger and it would be unprofessional to pick up another person.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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