phil - "honey, why is the picture quality so bad" Phil was watching a toaster

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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A teenager decides to stay home instead of go to college. His parents are fine with his choice since he is mentally ill.

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

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miha kako si?

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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red is red blue is blue derpy derp de derp

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely for no discernible reason as chickens are animals with poor reasoning skills.

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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Seriosly. too much sex again?

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A cat walks into a Chinese restaurant. It is then asked to leave.

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What's worse than farting in front of your boyfriend? Farting on your boyfriends pillow and giving him pink eye.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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If you die laughting, How are you telling this to me?

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Jews.

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How did Helen Keller burn her hands? On a candle.

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops