a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you blindfold an asian? With a blindfold.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man tells the bartender," A bar walks into a man..." The bartender says," What the hell? I think you've had enough"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

thumb_up thumb_down +20

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops