What do you call a baby with a shadow? A shadow-baby!

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

A boy walks up to a girl he finds attractive and says "You're body's kick'in! ... i mean...hey, do you know karate?"

So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

What did the African get for dinner? Ebola Rice

69

A hill billy went fishing

Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

Dead girls can't say no.

Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

Want to hear what's totally out of this world? Not wasting a whole page of space for something that doesn't even vaguely resemble a joke. [L]

Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

How many moose does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it is biologically and theoretically impossible for a moose to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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