A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

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Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

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Why did the koala fall of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other koala fall off the tree? It was stapled to the first koala.

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why did the chicken cross the road ...WHO FREAKING CARES!!!!

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

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A man walks to a bar and sees a very hot blonde sitting across the room. Turns out it was actually a blonde man and they both had a wonderful night because they were both homosexual.

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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What do you call a bunch of white men sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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