A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

i put a oie in the oven, it baked

Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

if you are reading this your wasting your time

You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

star wars kid

What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

When you nut and slice her fukcing dumb head off fucking dumb BITCH DIES

Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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