Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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What do you say to an over weight Jewish mother? "Work on those crunches" He was her coach.

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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you pick up 10 students from a school, you buy a pish from the fet store, and then drive to new york whos driving the bus? a fat guy with a level 80 org in world of warcraft

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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What happened while Thomas crossed the street? He got hit by a truck. What happened to Billy? He was Thomas's Siamese twin, and he too met the same fate.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What's the difference between heaven and hell? Hell likes you more.

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

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Q: What is tall, white, and shaped like a house? A: a tall white man, if you break his limbs and twist them into the rectangular shape of a house.

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What's funnier than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? Nothing, infant mortality is not a laughing matter.

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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