How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at its face.

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If Santa's not real, then who pees on the tree every morning?

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Why was the poor man poor? Because he doesnt make money

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? - 2 Whats worse than 2 bee stings? - Holocaust Whats worse than the Holocaust? - 3 bee stings Now, if you are smart, you would notice that no one really alive today was in the Holocaust, therefore you can not make an accurate comparison between bee stings and the millions of Jews being killed. -SPG

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Once, I went to Peru.

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

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Jimmy went for a walk in the jungle, and he got lost!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We can never be truly sure of the chicken's real purpose, but given the circumstances of the surroundings, the story has it that the purpose of the chicken was to physically move to the other side of said road.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

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A man walks into a bar... has a beer then leaves to his beautiful wife and his 2 children

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George W. Bush

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A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? It was taped to the other monkey

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a fish? A hot fillet.

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What's black, white, and red all over? And interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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Why do people hate Jews? Because there is nothing to like about them

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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Why didn't Jenny's mom give her any Christmas presents? She was a selfish, mean, woman and didn't care about her children.

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If you come to Anti-Joke.com to look at the Newest jokes please leave a comment. Thank you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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