How are a black man and a banana similar? They are both intelligent human beings, except for the banana.

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How did Helen Keller burn her hands? On a candle.

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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Women's Rights

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, pee pee is yellow, poo poo is brown. if not you have a serious disease...

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A man walked into a bar, therefore beginning a lifetime of alcoholism that would slowly tear his family apart.

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What's your blood type? Red.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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why did the dog cross the street? because it saw a squirrel

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roses are red violets are blue grass is green

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What animal wouldn't you want to play games with? Probably none of them. They are animals and incapable of playing board games.

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What did Geoar Bush say after a journalist ask what he was going to do about Katrina? Where gonna find her we do think she has some connection with Alkida .

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My friends all use twitter but i dont know how to use it, so i said i will carry a megaphone around saying what i am doing at random times. Like yesterday i was in the library so i said into my megaphone "i am in the library" Yay i got 3 new followers, 2 of them were cops. Jokes From Blox Computers Corporation [Thailand] Bellow Joke In Thai: ?????? Twitter ???????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? "i am ??????????" ??????????????? 3, 2 ????????????????????

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops