A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

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A black man and a muslim enter a bar. The Black man pulls out a gun in an attempt to commit a robbery, however the muslim opened his jacket, screamed "Allah Akkbar" and blew himself up. Everyone died.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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A Jew, A priest and a Muslim go into a pub,put their differences aside and have a good time!

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Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

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Q: How do you make a black man think you're racist? A: Racism

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What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Rough day?" says the bartender. UUUNNNHHHHH!

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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Q: How do you keep a blond occupied for an hour? A: You write "flip over" on both sides of a blank piece of paper.

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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What did the cat say to the dog? - meow!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops