Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

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What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 had a lot of PCP went crazy and shoved a gun down 6's throat

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops