So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Women deserve equal rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the boy make a horribly unfunny anti joke? He was bored.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's black white and red all over A Nun after being pushed down the stairs

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops