Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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Why did the man look in the mirror? To see his reflection.

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A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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two mexicans are in a car, who's driving one of the mexicans!!!

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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knock knock go away

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Why did the boy get hit by a wrecking ball? Because he picked up an upside down penny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops