Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one does, too.

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Q: What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A:One is fun to hit with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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hi penis ham telephone

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Why couldn't the man get a job at the daycare? Because he was a serial killer/rapist.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

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Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

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Why did the black man run out of the shop with items under his jacket? He was shopping for groceries, when his brother texted him, letting him know that his wife had just gone into labour. He then realised that it was a very miserable rainy day outside and he didn't have an umbarella, so he payed for his items, and ran to his car.

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Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

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I was just thinking in something I swear ... I am still Just, wait, i'll be good

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There was once a man who lived in a box.

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"....did he fire six shots or only five....." It doesn't really matter, considering he will die of blood loss soon

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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What did the man do to the begging orphan on a cold Christmas morning? He kicked him.

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What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

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3021 North Broadway Avenue

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Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? -Who's there? Not the girl.

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If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

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What did the guy say when he died? nothing, he was dead

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A priest sneeks in to a pre-school and is arrested shortly after for tresspassing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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