Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

Q: Where is the One Piece? A: My girlfriend is wearing it.

if any1 wants contact with me, nina, call me on my cell at 879-555-0934 im looking for a short, chubby man with a hungering taste of mexican taste

What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? I don't know... That action was so barbarous that it freaked me out, and I was no longer in the vicinity of the area. Since I don't have supersonic hearing, I couldn't pick up anything they were saying...

A child walks into a bar. He finds to find his dad passed out in his vomit, the bartender realizes the dad left the kid in the car, and he is arrested. The kid grows up traumatized by the experience, and becomes a substance abuser just like his dad.

Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

What's the biggest lie you've ever told? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

steve walked into a bar, what happened next? A: He fell down.

whats gay and american? a gay american

Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

why am I writing this...im bored

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot you racist S.O.B.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

Why did the Hispanic man have drugs in his pocket? He had just gone to the pharmacy.

What's worse then 10 babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

What is better than tissues? Correct!

i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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