Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

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your moms so fat she has kankles

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Robin, get in the car.

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

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knock knock whos there? doctor doctor who?

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3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

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What do you get if you cross a mexican with a pineapple? Nothing, they are two different physical forms thus incapable of becoming a new object.

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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Yo Mama's so fat, she weighs more than an electron.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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I AM DISSAPOINTED

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whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

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What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

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Why did the girl drop her lolly pop? She was hit by a bus.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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