How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

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Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks." The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." They were moose tracks.

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do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

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How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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why does renee suk at tetris? i dont know thats why im asking

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A priest, a rabbi, and a preacher walk into a bar. They ordered a water each.

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

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Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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Chuck Norris died.

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How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

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Why couldn't the kid go into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13 and he was only 11!

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Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

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Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

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Female Athletics

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So a man walks into a wedding and asks the waiter where the to wait for the punch... the waiter says, "there is no punchline."

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a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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your fat

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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