A man and a woman meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why did joe diragi cross the road there was food on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock Knock Who's There Me

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is an antijoke? Not Knock

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? One is delicious and the other isn't good for your health.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is James Miller's real name? James Miller.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

hi

thumb_up thumb_down -29

whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why couldnt the girl ride her bike? becuase she was dreaming she actually doesnt have a bike her family is poor in these hard economic times.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A blonde girl walks into a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops