There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Alchohol.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercourse? I have aids

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

an ethopian thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

man: im hungry can i have a sandwich wife: go make one man: then what are you gonna do

thumb_up thumb_down -13

cory

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a barbershop. He gets a crew cut and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

PENIS that is all

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops