Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? Because she had no arms. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

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The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

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Why couldnt dylan make it to mike's birthday party? He was killed instantly in a car crash on the way there.

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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roses are blue violets are red i messed up so f... this s..t

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How do you keep a woman from driving your car? Shoot her.

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Black people are like jelly beans. Nobody likes the black one's.

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A man walks into a bar, he realizes his mistake and walks into the dentist next door where he had made an appointment to get his teeth cleaned.

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There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both live underground apart from the eagle.

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a beanch can support a family

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Not really a anti joke: Superman is flying over town when he suddenly spots a completely naked Spiderwoman moaning and all sweaty while rubbing her her legs, This gets Superman really h0rny but does not want to get caught, so he flies down and bangs away so fast nobody notices a thing a thing and leaves. Spiderwoman: Hey honey whats wrong? Please come lie on top of me again! Invisible Man: AAAAAAARGH!!! IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE A DAMN BOWLING BALL UP MY ASS HOLE!!!

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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what did the gay man say to the pole? May i have this dance

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how does a a fat person dance? with his feet

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http://www.booksie.com/declan_mckimm

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What do you call a baby girl that has grown up? A women

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where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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