In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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You know what's funny about Fox news? Nothing. Lying to the public isn't funny at all.

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Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

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what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

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how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

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Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

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Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

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Yo momma so fat, when she sits on a rainbow nothing happens, as rainbows are merely rays of light refracted off of water particles in the air, apparent to humans only on a visible spectrum.

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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womans having rights.

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What's the simularity between a eagle and a rock? They both fly, exept for the rock.

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A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

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two penguins are hanging out in Antartica. the one looks to the other an says "man its really cold out" the other quicky waddles away because of the strange alien sound its friend just made

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A man walks into a bar, little did he know it was a gay bar and a few of the regulars were drinking and got overly aggressive the unaware man was then forced into the bathroom and raped by the aggressive gay lovers

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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How many armless people does it take to change a lightbulb? I dunno, that's why I asked you... Hello?

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I once saw my grandparents making love.. that's why I dont eat raisens

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Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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