Guy: guess what girl: what Guy: nevermind girl: no what Guy: i love you girl:.. i love myself too..

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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why did sally fall off a swing she had no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

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Why did the fridge fall off its bike? Because someone threw a little girl at it.

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Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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what is the most confusing day in the ghetto fathers day

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

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So A guy named Larry walks into a bar and says, Where is your couch?

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What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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