JUSTIN BEING SMART

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? 1, just because their Jewish doesn't mean their incapable of changing a lightbulb.

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Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a preacher walk into a bar. They ordered a water each.

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Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

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What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

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How do you stop a puppy from barking in the front yard? Put him in the backyard.

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What do you call a really bad actor? Nicholas Cage

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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Why did the Latino feel uncomfortable during anal, vaginal, and oral sex simultaneously? Because she was being raped by three men.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as it is capable of. Personally depends on the weight of the wood.

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

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We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

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In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

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A man is walking down thwe street. All of the sudden, an armoured truck comes around the corner really fast. The back doors swing open, and bags of money fly toward him. "I can believe this is real!" the Man exclaimed. "It's not. Feed the pig." said a man in pig suit with a giant coin-slot on the head.

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ASSCHEEKS

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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A man comes home late from work what does he find? His wife and children murdered.

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How do u make a plumer cry? You kill his family!

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9/11.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf man? Neither did he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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