45.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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shook hands with Marty ,talked about politics, then walked away.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

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How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

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Why was the clown murdered? Because it laughed at my cousin so he ran right into the icicle 10 times to the heart

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A man walked into a bar, he spilled his drink.

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? To get to the other side.

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You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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Why do some RVs have 2 doors? Because 11 would be too many.

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what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

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How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

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Why couldn't the man walk? He didn't have any legs.

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mitt romney

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Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

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One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

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Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head? a bullet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops