American: Hi im American Hispanic: Oh hey

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Do you know what killed the cat? Feline AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -15

osama bin laden is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Seriously, all your new jokes are shit. They are either repeats of stuff previously on the site or they are just so unfunny you'd struggle to get a sympathy laugh from your mother. Please actually take the time to think of something worth submitting or do not submit at all. We know people with no arms can't knock on doors enough now, and many things are better than the holocaust. Do something new!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q;How many screams does it take to ruin a good riddle? A: OOOOOONNNNEEEEEEEEEEE! Moral: This potentially awesome riddle may or may not have been aborted by a scream.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

If you'd turn to page 43 you will find the homework. Have a good weekend!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a red ball and a blue ball? There both blue but the red one

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

thumb_up thumb_down -15

So this blond chick walks into a bar, and orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Want to hear a joke? I hope not because I don't know any.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A horse walks into a bar the barmam asks why the long face The horse replies he's suffering from depression after his family was killed in a car crash and he has now turned to alcohol to sort his sorrows

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why are all black people fast? They aren't its a stereotype.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was Reed sad? His mother has a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Do the roar!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock. To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

whats worse than death getting your nuts ripped of by a rabid racoon

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops