Whats brown, large, thick, and sticky? a stick

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

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A black man walks into a bar holding a weapon. He is asked to leave to leave because weapons are not allowed in the bar.

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Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

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Why don't gingerbread cookies have souls? Cookies don't have souls.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human languages, promptly shits on the floor and leaves...

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

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Person 1: knock knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: nobody Person 2: nobody who? Person 1: ............

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How can you tell a blonde a brunette and a red head apart? Ask them if that is their natural hair color.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

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How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

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Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

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there square amphibious wood gum flag homos CC

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Q-what did lady gaga say to the retard when he asked why he's so stupid? A- Cuz baby u were born this way

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Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your one and only! Step away from the door, Francheska. You're violating the restraining order.

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why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

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TIMMY

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Q: Why did the kid get Christman presents in August? A: Because it was cheaper than chemotherapy.

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Why did the Europeans colonise Africa Because they couldn't do it themselves

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Ambulance. Ambulance who? Sir, we're going to need you to come down to the hospital, your son is dead.

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How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

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-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops