Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

what was postman pat's name before he was a postman? Pat.

What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

Q: What's worse than finding out you have genital herpes? A: Finding out your grandmother gave them to you

What did the 12 year old boy get for Christmas? Herpes

how many tentacles did the mentally retarded octopus have? answer: 8!

Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

I am thinking of a number between 1 and 100 what is it There are many numbers between 1 and 100 so it is highly unlikely that I will guess the right number

Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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