A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

Why did it look like the girl peed herself? Because she peed herself

hey guys im gay

What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

I see London, I see France... I see a Map.

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

What do Justin Bieber and Eminem have in common? They both need to get a life. I lied about Eminem.

Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

What is the best joke ever? 1D

Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

What's yellow and shouldnt be in this country. The asian girl in my economics class

Knock knock! Just kidding.

a man walks into a library Who the hell reads

A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

LUKE, I am your father... this is your mother, your parents dont love you so we've adopted you

Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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