A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is the best joke ever? 1D

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did it look like the girl peed herself? Because she peed herself

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's yellow and shouldnt be in this country. The asian girl in my economics class

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a man walks into a library Who the hell reads

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I see London, I see France... I see a Map.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock knock Who's there? Tom Tom who? Tom Rodgers I don't know you Tom decides to leave the house because the person in the house does not recognize him

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Once there was an English man, A Scottish man and an Irsh man. They were all in a scenario where each of them had to undetake a task. The English man and the Scottish man undertook their task without any problems, but the Irish man was confused resulting in a hilarious outcome.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Did you know that Claire Seiter likes to drinkapplseiter? No. Oh well she does..

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

thumb_up thumb_down -11

roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a metal bar He had a swell time.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops