What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

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Why was the black man lynched? Because he was found by angry racists in the 1930's.

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Jimmy fell in mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jimmy took a bath with Bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a clown.

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A: Knock Knock B: The door is open please come in.

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

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Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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What do Hitler and Jesus have in common? Facial hair.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

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Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

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can people thumb up the evil dead statment below please... its important to me. (and the cup joke below) thanks people , ur great.

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

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Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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Jimmy Saville

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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