What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

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Mum, "Why aren't you listening to me, are you deaf or something?" Son, (Silence)...

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How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

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Life is like a box of chocolates, some are brown, and some are white.

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? " I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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What's the difference between 10,000 dead babies and a Farari? I don't have a Farari in my garage.

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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whats disappointing and not funny? this joke. ouch.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 6 being the highest how confused are you?

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How do you wake up lady gaga? poke her face.

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Q: Did you hear that Hollywood actress got stabbed last night? A: Really? Which one? Q: Reese.. um wither.. withersomething A: Witherspoon? Q: Yes. Her. She's in a critical condition.

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My grandma's star sign was cancer, and it was really ironic how she died, actually... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

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teacher: say ur alphabet kid: abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwuxyz kid:wheres the pee teacher:half way down my leg

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Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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Are you from Jamaica? 'Cause you're making me crazy! Are you from Haiti? I'm really sorry about all the disaster that's been happening there.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You honstly thought i would cry over you? Well guess what player, You just got played too!

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this isn't an anti joke but you guys remember teletubbies?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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