Why couldn't Little Johnny read his 3rd grade novel? His was repeatedly stabbed in his eyes.

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How do you make a 4 year old cry? You tell him all his family died in a horrible plane crash.

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If a tree fell in the forest, and no one was around to hear it, would you like a cupcake?

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Why was the guy stupid? 'Cause he was!

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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what did god say when we made his first black person oops i acidenlty burnt it

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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Barack Obama.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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Brain fart

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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Why did the girl take a shower? Because she was dirty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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