How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall. First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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Why did people call the girl a cow? Because she was fat.

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I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

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Knock knock Who's there? Adolf Adolf who? Adolf Hitler. Are you a jew?

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I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm a dog

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

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a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

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Q: How did the hispanic youth express his irrational fear of snakes when he watched, "Snakes: The Life of These Tranquil Creatures"? A: He screamed and burst into an uncontrollable bout of agitating laughter invoked by his natural uneasiness at having witnessed something very disturbing indeed.

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What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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A whole family go to a water park. They have a great day.

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What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? Nigger

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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Why did suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Whos there NOT SUZY!

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knock knock whos there? doctor doctor who?

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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worst name for a club in alaska club baby seal

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How did the man rob the bank? With a gun

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What is brown and tasty? A brownie.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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