Knock Knock. GO AWAY!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I got Alzheimer's! ...... Who the hell are you?

What did the man say to the prostitute? Can I pay you to come with me to a cheap motel and partake in sexual intercourse with me?

What did the depressed man get for his birthday? a rope

Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

How are baseball and the holocaust similar? They're both games, except for the holocaust

Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

Casey Anthony kills a baby

What happened when the black woman moved to the front of the bus? There were no seats available but everyone was very nice about it. She also asked for gum. Somebody did have gum. Which was nice.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

what happens when y tell ur deff brother uve been sleeping with his wife..nothing

A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. On of them was moderately amusing and took home the modest prize.

I'm going to Re-write History... History

What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

Whats funnier than watching the kid next to you on the computer? Nothing because he is still trying to figure out that i unplugged his mouse!

A blind man walked past a fish store. For a second he thought it might be a womens vaginal odor, but then concluded it was most likely a fish store, and went on with his day.

Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

What do grass and deer have in common? They're both green I lied about the deer

A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

Why do black guys always have sex on their mind? Because they are men.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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