A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

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To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

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Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

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What is wrong with black stereotypes? Nothing! Basketball is pretty fun if you try it!

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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What's one very bad way to injure yourself? Smashing your head against a metal surface

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Wanna hear a joke? Woman's rights.

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting constantly tortured for hours non-stop by getting your eyebrows plucked out one by one and getting your teeth pulled out and getting your arms cut open by a razor and getting your nose twisted off and getting your nipples ripped off by a pair of pliers and getting your toenails scraped off by a knife and getting a needle shoved into your eyes and getting a sword stuffed up your arse and getting your penis split in two like a hotdog and getting your balls smashed up by a sledgehammer so the sperm inside goes everywhere. I think that would be worse than dropping a dollar down the drain.

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What did the Polish man say to his doctor? "Witam, doktorze. By?em kaszel z ostatnich kilku tygodni i jest wysypka na moim lewym ramieniu. Czy jest co? co mo?na zrobi?, aby mi pomóc?" I don't know what it means, either.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Not Ann Frank because she died in the Holocaust along with 6 million other innocent people.

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Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? neh

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A rapist and a little child walk through a dark forest. The little child says: "It's scary here." Rapist answers: "Tell me about, I gotta go back alone through here."

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because ti was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call a Mexican without any arms or legs? A bean.

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What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

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You know what would be funny? If the Incredible Hulk asked Spiderman to change his diaper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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