Q: Why did the mom try to wake up a sleeping bag? A: Because it's morning and her kid is curled up inside fast asleep

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Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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When you try to go to anti-joke.com but get redirected to Horsehead Network...

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Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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WTF? If you look at life from the right, you might just see whats left, and just then I looked down at the midget as he said "Yo whats up?" I told him, hey do you like left? He said! DAAAAAMN RIIIIIGHT! I spent a while just standing there wondering what the hell was happening into my life, it was so right it was left and wrong... NeroMetal (No fucking idea what Neronism is, I just play streetfighter V and type books that confuse people)

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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what did the nostalgic robot barber say to all of his customers before cutting their hair? 0010101000011100101000100100100110101010100101010101010

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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Q: How do you win the tour defrance if you have one nut? A: Hard work and dedication.

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Fine, ladies first.

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Why did the little girl walk into the wall? Because she was blind.

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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why was Logan sad? he was raped by his daddy multiple times

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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two men are in a bathroom (note they are not in the same stall) the guy on the left says how are you and the guy on the right says hold on im pooping.

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Why didn't the guy have kids? He didn't want them

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How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

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Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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Yo mommas so fat that when she walked into the ocean all the whales were far away. However, if the whales did happen to be closer to your mom it would be highly improbable that they would sing.

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What sound does a dog make? WOOF What sound does a cat make? MEOW What sound does a giraffe make? ...

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What dosent kill you only makes you injured

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Whats black and yellow and makes you laugh? A bus full of niggers driving of a cliff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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