So a woman walks into a store... There's a lamp selling for $5.99. She buys it because she thinks that's a pretty good deal.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why are black people so fast? because there black

thumb_up thumb_down +11

did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's big, white, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo mamma is so fat, that she's going on a diet and is exercising regularly to lose wait.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's black and doesn't work? Half of Detroit.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

HAVING OTHER LESBIAN'S OVARIES C AUGHT A AROUND U MBRELLAS SITTING TREES

thumb_up thumb_down +11

THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar They are friends and continue to have a pleasant evening

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is lazy? My balls. All they do is hang.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops